It’s easy to spot the wrongdoings of your partner in a relationship, however, your own faulty actions may not be as obvious. There are many moments when we tend to overlook our mistakes, be it in our behavior or how we treat our boyfriend/girlfriend, especially when we already feel comfortable in the situation — but it is crucial that we address this as early as possible to avoid losing our loved one.
The bad news is that it IS hard to be aware of what we’re doing wrong – Susan Winter, a relationship expert, said that knowing your mistakes is the first step in making changes. Here are red flags to observe about yourself:
Tagging Along With Your Partner
Loving someone so much can be a good thing but can become bad when codependency emerges. Yes, it may feel like you wouldn’t want to be apart from your partner even for a second but both of you will need some time alone for yourselves, too.
Jennifer Rhodes, a clinical psychologist, previously said that when you become excessively psychologically or emotionally reliant to your partner, you are suffering from codependency. Although it is good to be together to enhance connection and bond, both of you may overwhelm each other.
Suggesting Breakup Always
There are good days and then there are bad ones that usually end in raised voices. If you notice that you have been suggesting for a breakup during arguments, then question yourself if you’re just trying to manipulate the situation.
This generally means that you’re saying that the relationship will end if you don’t win the fight. Psychologist Stan Tatkin explained that people should never threaten to leave unless it is what they really want.
Telling Your Partner to ‘Get Over It’ During Bad Days
You should be supportive of what your partner is going through. People experiencing bad days only need to know that you are there to listen and to comfort them.
If you tell your significant other to just cheer up and get over it, you may be hurting your relationship without knowing it. You might only be trying to help but this unwillingness to provide solace to your lover may give an impression that you will not be available when they desperately need you.
Saying Everything Your Partner Does Is Wrong
Let’s face it, no matter how attuned we feel with our partners, there are things that both of you simply don’t see eye to eye. That’s pretty normal – what’s not is when you point out every little thing he/she does that annoys you.
This could mean you are sabotaging your relationship by trying to control everything about your partner. Raising your criticisms as jokes is not healthy, too, since it can show that you are resentful.